WHAT IS DATING VIOLENCE?
WHY DO YOU THINK ABUSE OCCURS IN SOME TEENAGE DATING RELATIONSHIPS?
WHY MIGHT IT BE DIFFICULT FOR VICTIMS TO LEAVE AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP?
HOW MAY ALCOHOL AND OTHER DRUGS CONTRIBUTE TO AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP?
WHAT IS DATING VIOLENCE?
Violence among teen dating couples is a pattern used by some teens to control their partners. Violence can include physical, verbal, emotional and sexual acts that threaten the well being of the person that is being abused.
Dating violence is a pattern of assaultive and controlling behaviors that one person uses against another in order to gain or maintain power in the relationship. The abuser intentionally behaves in ways that cause fear, degradation and humiliation in order to control the other person. Forms of abuse can be physical, sexual, emotional and psychological.
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WHY DO YOU THINK ABUSE OCCURS IN SOME TEENAGE DATING RELATIONSHIPS?
Abuse occurs in a dating relationship because the abuser has a sense of entitlement i.e., they believe they have the right to behave this way, that they are entitled to all of their partner’s attention, affection, loyalty and time. Because of this sense of entitlement the abuser makes the choice to engage in this type of behavior. There is a misconception that alcohol, other drugs, anger or stress cause dating violence because these factors often accompany the violence. While these outside characteristics are a contributing factor to the abuse (e.g. when present, the abuse may escalate in severity and frequency), they do not cause someone to use violence against another person. The reason abusers make the choice to use violence is because: THEY CAN. IT WORKS. THEY GET AWAY WITH IT.
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WHY MIGHT IT BE DIFFICULT FOR VICTIMS TO LEAVE AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP?
Leaving an abusive relationship can be very dangerous for teen victims. Frequently when a victim attempts to leave or does leave, the abuser will escalate their behaviors of control, threaten to kill the victim, the victim’s family or friends or may threaten suicide. It is usually after the victim has left that the abuser may commit a homicide, suicide or both. Other barriers for a teen victim to overcome may include: the teen feels isolated; the teen may have stopped spending time with friends and family; the teen may be fearful to disclose the abuse to adults; the teen may feel responsible for the abuse, and therefore believes she can stop it, and the teen may still care for the abuser and therefore believe that she can help him.
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HOW MAY ALCOHOL AND OTHER DRUGS CONTRIBUTE TO AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP?
Once again, the willingness to resort to abuse is a choice made by the abuser. Drugs can be an excuse to avoid putting responsibility for the violence where it belongs—on the abuser. It is important to note that the use of alcohol and other drugs can escalate the frequency and severity of abuse. Some victims may use alcohol or other drugs as a way to cope with the violence they are experiencing.
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