Prevention programs for dating and domestic violence must challenge the process of socializing young boys and young girls. The false expectations we place on young boys and young girls really sets them up for failure. How often have we heard a father say to his young son, “quit crying. Big boys don’t cry. What are you a girl?” The father is teaching the young son to be tough, swallow his feelings (even though crying is a normal chemical reaction to pain) and that being a girl is inferior to being a boy.
The complex issue of male violence is much more difficult than understanding that most abusers learned these behaviors from being raised in violent homes. The way in which we socialize young men is important in understanding male violence. There are so many thoughts and behaviors by non-abusive men that contribute to male violence.
Webster’s Dictionary defines the word “prevent” as: “to keep from taking place, to ward off; to keep (someone) from acting.” This should be the basic premise of any violence prevention program. If violence is a learned behavior, then it can be unlearned. Prevention is about changing directions, changing the way we think and the way we act.
